If you can't talk....you have nothing.

So many people need to wake up and realize this, so that they can begin to get their relationships back on track.

so true..talking is the key,cause you learn things you wouldn't have known about the other person and it makes you understand the person better...

I think TV...okay basically many forms of electric entertainment...... has stolen conversations.

Many families eat in front of the TV and no longer have conversations about their day. Some have schedules which conflict, tremendous stress in their lives which drives them to "escape" into games or meaningless chat rooms.

They have lost the simple conversations which make each person active participants in each other's lives.

We do not watch TV when we eat together. We limit gaming and internet for our kids. When our kids have friends over those kids can't wait to come back. They see us taking part in each other's lives and crave that interaction. It always seems I have more children than I really do.

It saddens me that so many parents miss these opportunities and then later when kids move on in their lives--leaving silence behind--often discover they are all strangers.

“I think TV...okay basically many forms of electric entertainment... has stolen conversations.”
This is so true *Cheeky* adults would rather turn on a movie than simply have a peaceful conversation with each other. They don’t always have to speak on serious matters, just a little fun or informative conversation about each other and etc…

People in troubled relationships could find out so many new things about each other if they only try. It’s simple....just don’t turn on the television, answer the phone, turn on the computer, or hang in the street with friends. Stay at home and spend quality adult time together.

NOW as for children.....Television these days is simply a babysitter for most kids because parents don’t want to take the time to spend quality family time. Look at all the family things you can do together these days. Family games at Walmart range from $5 to $20 and you can keep those things for years.

And if you MUST have the television on during family night, then buy a ‘Scene It’ board game. A DVD comes with the game and you have to play the game with that. I’m sure we all know how to play those I like them.

Marriages fail so quickly because people won't simply talk. Families divide more when they don't lean how to truly communicate. And it's not that hard to do. And if it is then they should continue to try and be civilized.

I truly appreciate all your comments ladies. You are a joy to have inside of *A Place For Me* Such wonderful souls you are

Pink...we are here because you give us great topics and opportunities to share bits of ourselves. We should be thanking you!

You know I didn't know how much I missed my group until I came back in here and looked around. I should have been placing a lot of my blogs back in here instead of in I&F. I like that group but still, I should have been here.

Now I feel free to post anything! Yay! What was I thinking before oh dear

I jump all over the net...but I end up here.

"Here" is a good place to be if you have good online people around you Every time I see a drama queen lately OR someone that just simply wants to argue with no real point to their longwinded speach, I simply not only think of this word, but I also type it too.....

Next!

Then I continue to read other peoples post so that I may learn something from them while ignoring all others.

*Stephley* makes some really good points in 4.0 and she post good article links in there too, just in case she needs to prove her point even more.

Like I said on this blog...

"You know it’s when people take the time to talk, that they begin to figure the harder things out together."

When you yell or nag at each other you're not really solving anything or getting your points across. You're just bickering, therefore you will never solve anything or come to an agreement in the end.

For me, conversations and commentary do not always need to end with a winner and a loser. Sometimes there is more merit to agree to disagree.

I find that a few people cannot "step into" that place "to agree to disagree" and instead stand firm in pointing to what they feel is "wrong" and it is at that point I shrug and walk away.

I value the exchange of ideas which means I value the ability to attempt to see each side of an issue instead of being polarized to one view.

Change rarely occurs when people are polarized in their views as by its nature, a polarized view is short-sighted and narrow-minded. The owner of a polarized view sees no merit in exploring another side and merely stands fast in their own belief system.

The conversation/commentary then is limited to what that person "wants" to hear and nothing more...and then it is no longer a conversation or commentary. It then becomes propaganda.

I see merit in looking at all sides. Often I won't even pick a side but just examine it or attempt to at least explain it. My act of exploring it or explaining it then becomes seen as "my side" which often it is not at all...but that is how polarized people view opinions other than their own.

Stephley is one who stands firm, at times offers some form of proof to back her stance, but does not welcome conversations in a way where exploration of ideas is valued.

I do not think she has demonstrated a need to explore on an intellectual realm any other ideas with an open mind. That polarized view is then also seen as "opinionated" and offers no ability to grow by seeing any other side of any issue.

I am not saying that having a "right v/s wrong" stance is not productive or valid. It is just not the kind of commentary I enjoy. It is where she and others often end up "bickering" and conversations which tend to always end up "there" are not productive.

Now, she may read this and take issue with what I have said and even argue the point, and I would say in doing so she has confirmed a polarized view.

If she instead considered that perhaps people do react at times when we should have instead pondered closely another side, the other side, and choose to simply agree to disagree... I then would gain a new appreciation of her ability to perhaps entertain the idea that she may not always be right and everyone else always wrong.

In this one comment I have explained how I have viewed her as well as my ability to be open to see her differently. I would be surprised if she would ever offer the same to me based upon past interactions with her. I am not always right nor do I always need to be. My perception of her is that she has a deep need to always be right.

In this case I'd love to be wrong. Somehow...I cannot imagine Stephley ever saying that she'd love to be wrong.

That my dear Pink is where she and I probably differ the most. It merely is what it is and my life cannot evolve around reinforcing someone else's need to always be right.

So...I avoid confrontations which will be unproductive for both her and I. To argue for the sake of arguing is a waste of time. Life is simply too short.

Water and oil do not mix without great effort...it does occur... but always in the end the result is that both are indeed separate. I do not enjoy commentary which so closely mirrors a debate class. It is just not my form of entertainment. It is not the sort of commentary I need.

So...She and I will probably never agree and I am fine with that. That does not make her some villain. Reading her comments in other threads outside of 4.0 I see an entirely different person. She and I actually have things in common. It is kind of silly that some people look at her and I as polar opposites. I often wonder if she even looks at other people's comments in other threads and find commonality. I think she'd be surprised.

My husband and I almost always sit down and turn off the tv for family dinner. I've just gotten my daughter to request to be excused when she's finished. Not only do we hear about each other's day, but we learn/teach manners and interaction.

Every now and again football will be on. I'll let the tv be on, but I make Hubby mute it!

I think so many times we ignore how important family dinner can be. Some people watch television while at the dinner table.

That to me is NOT having dinner/family time, that's just having dinner and a movie.

SugarKat...It is great to see people teaching their kids manners! I have some pet peeves....OMGosh...but will not hijack this thread to go into them.

Feel free *Cheeky* That is what you're supposed to do This is a blog about taking the time to talk. So you can tell your story if you like.

Maybe someone will read it, understand it, and then change up their ways a little bit. Sometimes you don't know what you're doing until someone else points it out too you.

Oooh unleashing pet peeves about manners...
I refuse to eat somewhere that a man can go shirtless.
Hats are for outside-not inside.
Please and Thank you....I can go on forever with this list.

1. I don't like people that drive with their dogs in their laps.

2. People that bring their dogs over to your lawn to use the bathroom.

3. People who slam on their brakes, then make their turn, and then they turn on their turn signal.

4. And people who still write CHECKS...Ah!....get a visa check card already. I say STOP holding up the darn line in the store with your dinosaur checkbook

LOL...checks! I only use them to pay for school stuff because my kids are always bringing stuff home for me to pay for and I am NOT giving a middle or high school my credit card number. I distrust school more than any other place....says something doesn't it?

I have always been choosey when it comes to who I give my card number to. I know some people get their bills automatically taken out of their account on a certain day in the month. I think this is a bad idea.

What if the telephone company takes more money than they should have. They're not going to give it back. They'll say "sorry, we'll just credit it to your bill. So you won't have to pay again for a month or so."

I don't think so. No automatic payments for me...or whatever you call them.

As annoying as those paper checks are--they have not been eliminated. A few months back several banks in our area went to "envelope free" deposits and it was fun to watch people astounded at the possibility that it was safe to let the machine grab your actual check or money you are depositing. It was funny...because I had reacted the same way!

i think pleasant, informative conversation is the most entertaining thing people can do when you take the time to talk to another person, it's like an acknowledgement of their exsitence. i talk to everyone who's willing to talk.

I find talking/communication is important but I also know that a lot of the time the men I interact with do not like to start a conversation or talk. Too many people like to hide their feelings and too many people get angry when someone expresses their feelings.

You should never be afraid to express your feelings. Keeping your wants and needs a secret, bottled up inside you, can never be a benefit. You deserve all the best in life too. And if a man cannot respect that then he needs to go.